Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Feeling Guilty for Not Having Mom Guilt

I read a really good blog post the other day from the Culture Mom called “To Work or Not to Work.” She talks about her regret of quitting her full-time job after the birth of her two children. I laughed as I read through her story because it rang true to me. I did the very same thing years ago after my first child was born. I left my wonderful job in corporate communications for a Fortune 500 company to be a full time stay-at-home mom. It was the life that I thought I always wanted. My mom was home when I was little and I guess I always assumed I would want the same thing when I had children. I could imagine the endless days of crafting and playing, enjoying my children and cuddling on the couch. Ha! Ha! Ha! Fast forward three kids later and that dream of a life had turned into a bad reality tv show. I spent all day playing referee to fighting toddlers. I never looked nice, never felt nice. I wore sweat pants and maternity shirts for probably 1000 days in a row. I spent my days changing diapers, making bottles, and getting food thrown at me (or worse – spit up on me!). I found myself unhappy, unhealthy and uncertain of my decision. Not quite what I had in mind.

I eventually went back and much like the Culture Mom, I think I’m happier as a career-mom. Maybe it’s my internal drive to climb the career ladder, or my social personality, or maybe the fact that I was bored silly by being at home, but coming back to work was the best decision for me. I love connecting with people; I love writing; I love being challenged each day. The deadlines and the pressure motivates me and working with high-level career women inspires me.

There’s only one thing I feel guilty about and that’s not having the mom guilt. I don’t sit at work and feel bad for not being there. I don’t yearn for the days of being home with my kids. I don’t even really give it much thought other than when I talk to other career-moms who feel the same way. I kinda feel guilty for not feeling guilty… strange, I know. But there is one thing I know - being a career-mom rocks.


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